Well my dear Cara is in quite a pickle. It's the second follow-on story from The Beginning of an End you see, and she has basically lost all of her memory about everything - even that she was ever a human - and she has woken up to find herself in a battle of minds with her more beast-like side.
I'm not sure if I covered it enough in the first book but I did try. But it was the whole Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde split personality thing. The parts in the first book where she bit off Reno's arm or killed those dogs, and then pretty much forgot she acted that way. A constant battle between her more furious dragony side and her compassionate humane side.
I've exploded this theory in my second book. So basically this monstrous side of her has taken over and she has become the lesser side. So at this stage I'm fighting to win her complete control over her body again.
Maybe it's a gross exaggeration but I like the idea of it so heyy, I'll keep at it.
I keep having half-formed thoughts that are brain-shattering, but I'll only have them for a few minutes and then I'll have no idea how that idea could have made sense or what it even was in the first place that I thought of. Time is also weird to me, in that sometimes I'll look at a clock and I swear myself deaf that it's one time and then I'll look a while later and realize that I was either mistaken or it's still the same time as before. Trippy stuff.
Makes me wonder about time, and...really, how does one know if they're going mad? I'm sorry to say that often times, if it's your family and they're often busy, they probably wouldn't be able to tell if their son or daughter or wife were going mad: especially if it was a gradual thing.
That one day you just wake up to realize that you or that other person is mad. Maybe others see and just choose not to say. Hey, maybe even now I'm slowly going insane for one reason or another and just don't realize it yet.
Am I insane? I wouldn't mind going mad, really, if it was a good mad. It's like, I was just thinking a few days ago about what I put into these blogs and some of the things people say, and I want to tell anyone reading this (and who may just be concerned by my often-time blurring between reality and strange fiction), that please don't take anything I say too seriously.
It's like the idea of a court jester - (at least in some stories and movies) - in that you should never take said jester too seriously, but at the same time, you shouldn't completely discount everything they say because while most of what they say are fancifulls and nothing-riddles, some of what they say is true and is good advice. So listen absent-mindedly.
Okay I hope you don't think I'm boasting or whatever by saying that, just...I think it's important to know yourself and be able to laugh at yourself. Again, you could think of the idea of the clown or jester, they smile and laugh and cajole but it's a smile that's frightening to spite the horror. Laugh in the face of sadness and fear. Banish it with a garish smile. :D
It's like the idea of personality or souls. People freak out and call it stuff like schizophrenia when people get the idea into their minds that they have more than one soul or personality inside of them. However this is just stupid, and belittling. To pose that a human has only one personality is constrictive and primal in that we have millions of sides to us, and millions of parts to each of those sides.
In essence, it would be as difficult to draw up a chart of a single person's entire soul or personality as drawing a chart of the entire universe would be.
Ah and this is a bit of an odd idea but what if the universe isn't how we think? In that, okay, taking the idea that we are all made from the same stuff: Dark Matter, the God particle or whatever else you want to call it, then we are made of the same stuff as stars and planets and space. What if (considering the fact that there are billions of galaxies), that each human being ever made and who will be made is connected to a single galaxy, and all those stars and planets that make up that galaxy are the many million parts of that person's personality and soul.
Get's kinda big when you think of it like that, but hey this is all mainly just conceptual theories mind. It'd be nice if we didn't think in the logical sense as much.
Okay, and here's me getting New age y again, ah evil eeee cough cough. But as I've said before I'm a Pisces and it's freaking me out the more I realize it's truth. Pisces are split personalities, or rather two conflicting forces swimming the opposite way. My life and personality are filled with opposites. Both my palms (when people have read them), state two completely opposite and conflicting things, my eyes are two opposite colours, hazel: sometimes brown sometimes green. (Land and sea), if I feel one way, usually I'll feel the complete opposite a short while later, and let's not even mention my psycho thoughts, oh yeah...bipbipbip.
Mainly the point I'm trying to make is that in some ways we're all a bit insane, and I don't think that's such a bad thing. Even that it's a kinda given side-effect of living in this world.
Ah, and for me, usually my madness consists in the forms of theories and perhaps chattering away to myself or seeing my characters but there's always the more serious side, and hey, some days all that I feel like doing with my writing is burning every page I've written. Each to their own.
Take care Little Crazies,
Miss CLScarlett xx
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