In English you say?? :] All it means is that for varying reasons I'm going to turn up in my fancy outfit on the Saturday instead of the Friday. How thrilling.
I found a peculiarly liberating quote today:
Follow your inner moonlight, don't hide the madness. (Allen ginsberg)
Nah but it made me think, maybe one shouldn't always try and have everything in order and nice so that everyone else is happy. I also want to say - and I don't want to offend anyone with this but (seee???), I have so many theories and ideas and often-times very cynical and conspiratorial thoughts, and hey, hardly anyone wants to ever hear them.
It doesn't matter whether they're a Christian, Catholic or an atheist or whatever. Whenever I try and broach my theories or debate with anyone it's like I come up against a wall. Like, don't continue this strange conversation, or these thoughts might be contagious.
If the believers don't like these sorts of conversations because they're afraid of being shaken from their faith well then that's just...stupid. Only because, if really all it took to destroy someone's faith and belief system was a few debates and theories, then faith isn't as powerful as it's made out. (I believe it is, faith that is, but it still makes no sense.)
So in essence if we listened to them we could live our entire lives fighting to ignore all the strange and dangerous thoughts we have inside.
That's shit!
I say no, and yes I may be getting a bit odd about this, but hey...it feels wrong to me.Ah and in case you're wondering what exact thoughts and theories I refer to when I say that I come up against walls...? I mean these:
No.1: I want to talk and debate with people about the possibility that life is quite pointless and meaningless, and to debate what in fact makes life worth living and others' views.
2: I want to talk to people in depth about aliens, and UFOs, and the various other theories about the way the world works and how we came to be. To not just settle for what everyone else tells us what happened. We weren't there when it all began so how can we know?
3: Sleep Paralysis and other abnormal things. Ghosts, mythical creatures, nephilim.(Fallen angels)
People cringe at all these ideas.
Okay, what I mean by Sleep Paralysis, well, it's easy to find on the internet and hundreds of people suffer it in varying forms. I do! Basically for me, it's usually if I've stayed up and am really tired or if I've drunk a bit, but I'll lie down to go to sleep, and well, the worst I've had it, it always begins with your body becoming completely paralysed. It's usually terrifying and I'll hear this chaotic white noise everywhere, and I'll hear voices or feel things, or see strange shapes or hear laughter. One time I heard my brother.
But this isn't just imagination. It's when your brain starts dreaming before you're fully asleep. See when you actually are asleep, you're body makes it so that you can't move and act out whatever dream you're having.
Sometimes the room would become hot, and there's so many other parts. Quite scary when it happens. which is quite often for me.
Night is better spent awake and writing or drinking. Drink until I'm too tired and out of it to let the monsters find me. Heehee.
Ahm, enough downers, my point in all this is that I wish people were less uncomfortable talking about this shit.
I completely just felt like laughing then. :] Sometimes you just need to and, by the way who loves the Joker from the Dark Knight??
When that movie first came out I dreamt about him so much that for a time he actually started to freak me out, but hey, I made peace with him. :]
Ah and Sodom visited me yesterday heehee. I haven't felt him as physically as I did in a while. It seriously felt like his cold hands were pressing against my shoulders as I wrote, and you know how sometimes you just feel like there's something or someone behind you, watching you?
Well that's how it felt. His eyes in the back of my head.
Ah, jitterjitter.
Light a candle my lovely friends and talk to you later,
Miss CLScarlett xx
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