I feel like I've just woken up. Though really I have been feeling this a lot lately.
But I sense that grey rain is imminent and I could stand in it and lift my arms like in the scene of the movie V for Vendetta, when Evie escapes her prison and raises her hands into the stormy sky and water.
That everything could and sometimes is greener and colder and wilder and more there, you know?
Perhaps you don't know what I mean but...I think it would make sense in some ways, just...being able to feel physically there in your own body. I don't always do(which harhar, some of you may get and think already), because yes while I'm not per say off with the faeries, I am off in the shadows of fate and I can't always feel the firm edges of my own body.
Sometimes when I'm just waking up or half-asleep, I'll feel spirit-like, like I can feel my body like a weight, but me...I'm lighter and only thinly bound to this tent-like body I've got. Meaning, sometimes things just get weird :].
I'm not scared though...it's sorta peaceful, in that in-between light.
There were things I read about, in a book I love. It's this quixotic tale (I lovelove that word by the way), in which a junk mailer named Erskine goes on a long journey through the night as he tries to deliver all his pamphlets.
Along the way he encounters a girl who always looks as though she's just been crying, and who speaks a language she long ago forgot; a group of white tigers that appear here and there without warning, an estate ruled by a beautiful girl who wants to consume the world until the entire earth is covered with the estate and another place that can't be reached by tram and in which time stops...that is reached by way of the sea and the Pool of Dead Girls.
Sound eerie? Well it is and it isn't, in that it calls to me in some way. It's actually dedicated to this little girl who drowned in Australia somewhere, and the secret heart of the book is her...an angel trying to find her way home. But, lately the Pool of Dead Girls (and please, I'm sorry if that's not the real name), has been on my mind a lot.
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| Ruby Bloom's Blog |
Morbid much Scarlett?
It seemed very beautiful I thought. This pool see, is tended by a man with two daughters whose faces are never seen. But all the girls that die or are lost in the world eventually find their way through the ocean to reach this beautiful pool where they float forever amongst the calm waters and flowers...forever asleep.
Lost things...are really so close to being found, and I thought I'd say something that has also been in my thoughts lately...
A small pair of wings to guide you home, and a
little star to watch by the sea.
Walk the beach and face the storm and maybe it
won't crush you.
Then again maybe you'll fight your way through to be stronger
and greater than all that.
It may not be possible to fix but just
think...that darkness that is everywhere is only a plain room in which you
haven't yet turned on the light...
Neil Armstrong...August 5, 1930 – August 25, 2012...
You know, I don't want to make this into a boring entry about a subject that you are surely tired enough of hearing but...come on.
We were alive in his time, which I think is pretty darn cool. I recall in one piece about him, they said that he was always so...serene and there.
Well who wouldn't if they'd been to the moon?
I admired him though, and I know heaps of people did. I'm sure he's seeing ten zillion more stars than we could ever dream of or believe to exist now, and that it's a Hell of a lot better where he is.
Rest in peace dear. xx
You know I had a dream about the sky once (well a lot of dreams about the sky), but this one stood out in particular:
I was standing on a cliff edge that looked out across a large valley to an opposing cliff face. There was a town at the centre of these two cliffs and my gosh the sky was so so blue. Well I looked up at the sky and before my eyes...well, it was incredible. It was daytime but I could see constellations, only they were actual shapes. Bigger than anything in life, and so there that it was tangible.
They were 3D sorts of shapes but they were also pretty much just white outlines of each particular thing. There were great sky ships, huge star-edged UFOs and many other things. They were bulging out of the sky and as I stood staring up at them, crazily happy, a long path of clouds joined together between the two cliffs. And I suppose, that if the dream had gone on longer I would have walked over them.
That was a wicked dream.
However it reminds me of how sometimes (and I have no idea if this is normal or not), in varying situations, I'll feel a heavy weight in my mind. Similar to what I mentioned before about the feeling of lightness, but the opposite.
It's as though at the very front base of my mind I can feel my hands as an actual weight, or just a heavy weight inside me. It's a little bit euphoric but it's also unnerving at times.
Like all of the feeling in my body has pinpointed itself into that one single spot.
So dance, so love, so Be. Let's find our way out of the labyrinth, and to some kind of home.
Much love Angel's,
Miss CLScarlett xx
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