'Writers are liars by nature, but just because of that, don't discount us. For it is through our lies that we tell the truth. Our stories become the mask.'

Thursday, 30 October 2014

Confessions of a Spooked: Entry Two of All Hallows Eve...

Wolf of Night
(Story of a wolf)
 
 
 
Wolves are prowling my streets tonight,
they follow me wherever I am...
Trying to teach what I already know,
leading me through the corners of my eye...
Some are blind,
some fill my heart...
others I can't bear the sight,
Yet the one I know more than any other,
can fill up the very night...
His shadow it sways,
the moon dims glowing...
his howl,
the scream of wind...
His paws are molten,
while his fur leaks tears...
he is bonded to me by flight,
He was dying that first time – when I found him late one night...
His eyes lunging razor claws,
As I stooped into shadows when what I wanted was light,
 reached down and gripped hold...
His body wayed me down,
yet his bones were thin...
like splinters and his heart like ash,
He could not stand,
yet I could,
he leant on me...
took and took,
I cried my heart,
held him strong,
that black fur of night,
herald thereafter by a song...
Each night I write of him,
his ghostly beige eyes – they haunt my thoughts,
hiss – guide...
I took him to my deepest chamber,
wrapped him tight in mind and slowly healed his many wounds,
that were deeper than just skin and bone...
He raged in me,
filled me with black nights...
his claws slowly became mine,
I healed him but...
he healed me,
yet wounded me deep as deep,
Days turned to nights and black into light as slowly he regained his name,
Became not a beast of dust but a wiry strong thane,
Soon he could run and I ceased to try,
soon he could scream, my sound ceasing...
soon he could live,
while I could not.
He left, like a winters last day,
never-ending but gone just like that.
You couldn't see,
you couldn't think
I couldn't be.
Now he is forever and I am his past,
he can toss a stone for me and howl at night for the time I took my last breath.
 

 
 
Stillness
(Story of a wolf II)
 
I watched the fight from afar that night,
mist curling in my wake...
As I saw a beast as black as shadows,
curl and rip and shake...
He wore a hooded light and fought because he was forced...
Breath held fury,
 night held tears as those wolves,
they attacked him near death...
He bayed his call,
leapt like a deer,
swung back to hold his ground...
Only to be beset by teeth,
and calls for meat...
his very own breed his doom,
Fought and fought,
for hours they did until the streets were covered with murk...
A ghost-like yelp,
crimson fear and the fleeing paws of many a wolf...
Crept into silence,
and chill-cold night as he slowly lay silent...
forgetting his name...
After an hour or so,
once I was sure they had left I ran to the spot he had fell...
Looked upon he,
hurt not just in flesh,
and took him upon my soul...
I carried him,
and the night became still.
 
 

 
Him Or Me?
(Story of a wolf III)
 
Half his pain was his anger,
the way he'd scream and claw...
Ripping up the walls of his room,
tearing his own jaws...
It wasn't just hunger,
or the will to feel,
but a burning pain that screwed his heart...
kept it beating when he wanted death...
That wolfs' howl echoed,
each and every night...
Until it sunk,
impressed on my mind...
His eyes were the creators,
of his own demise...
His life the curse,
his body the chains...
His body hung limp,
not just from what they'd done...
It was because he let them.
His days had decided to resist,
though he begged them to stop...
He refused to eat,
to love, to live, even when I tried...
For him.
He gouged my heart,
after I had so willingly thrown...
He could not feel,
turned blind with hatred...
Each night I'd hear him screaming,
the dints in his walls the only clue,
The pulled out claws I was forced to ignore in the hope he would be cured...
I fought for reason, in a world where there was not,
Tried to love him, when my scars grew more than bones...
He was a beast, scalding to kill, not me, but himself...
I could only watch, as he drove himself from slumber, night after night, after night, after night...
Pacing a path in the floor,
I screamed at myself,
to let it go...
let him go,
keep me....
Yet he took what I had,
because I offered and gave,
My tracks matched his.
Who am I? Him or me?
 
There are wolves within my heart...
and how they howl.
xx


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