Confessions of a Spooked: Entry Three of Madness and All Hallows Eve...

 

Darkness boiling...

madness churning.

 

We are alone...

in the shadows and mayhem,

we stare at the broken walls of this room...

and we see the door that is swung wide,

the monsters have crept in...

within,

and now their legion fills...

our thoughts,

our heart...

our soul,

 

Scratched to pieces...

beneath water that boils,

chain down our limbs...

so that we may trail the knife,

stab the nails...

embed the poison,

and it eats with wicked teeth...

soon our eyes are black,

and our skin trails away...

Drink down the murk,

rip between...

ghosts that suffocate our lungs,

and the weeper that sleeps...

in our ears,

the claws that do not leave...

We set the match,

we watch it all burn...

the faces,

millions of screams...

as they writhe within the fury,

of these flames...

you lock the doors,

so you cannot get out...

and you take the barbed whip,

to your back and wrist...

so that the tension may release,

we watch as the souls are devoured...

and the heart of our city is drenched in blood,

for we see a new horizon...

a city there,

its' streets are paved from the dust...

of the bones that were churned down,

by the feasters...

the Devourer,

who once learnt this name...

for they do not forget a name,

and so now we dig into the earth...

at night until our fingers,

they bleed...

we tear out our teeth,

for we see their razor edges...

the way they cut and kill,

and now the forest is everywhere...

and it is alive,

and waiting...

about each corner,

each street...

do not blink,

do not run...

because it will find you,

to each corner of the earth you flee...

it is there,

for those who entered the forest...

the creatures they took,

they feed off our spirit...

leach us dry,

and bind them within their world...

for the trees,

are the Sleepers Deep...

cut off every wire that binds,

shatter all the mirrors...

watch in the darkness,

as the shadows sway...

and come for you,

again and again...

so we wait now,

for their total doom...

 

 

 

'Go ahead...'

they whisper.

'Build your prisms,

your reflections and masks...

your chains and bars,

to lock us inside...

to not show anyone,

the true madness...

within,

though how long can you keep us back...

really?

Soon you will love us...

and then you shall never wish,

for freedom...

we will be your dearest confidantes,

the ones you turn to...

as slowly we poison the way you see the world,

those about you...

those you know,

until you want to tear them apart...

make them hate you,

so that you can find the freedom...

that you seek out,

like the Holy Grail...

and sending you to insanity,

slowly ticking into insanity...

night after night after night,

and yet you will never find it...

for yours was always a cursed end,

we allowed you the illusion...

that one day,

it will make sense...

but dear dear,

there is no end.

 

This...

is your madness,

and Fate.'

 

Happy Halloween

xx

 

 



Confessions of a Spooked: Entry Two of All Hallows Eve...

Wolf of Night

(Story of a wolf)

 

 

 

Wolves are prowling my streets tonight,

they follow me wherever I am...

Trying to teach what I already know,

leading me through the corners of my eye...

Some are blind,

some fill my heart...

others I can't bear the sight,

Yet the one I know more than any other,

can fill up the very night...

His shadow it sways,

the moon dims glowing...

his howl,

the scream of wind...

His paws are molten,

while his fur leaks tears...

he is bonded to me by flight,

He was dying that first time – when I found him late one night...

His eyes lunging razor claws,

As I stooped into shadows when what I wanted was light,

 reached down and gripped hold...

His body wayed me down,

yet his bones were thin...

like splinters and his heart like ash,

He could not stand,

yet I could,

he leant on me...

took and took,

I cried my heart,

held him strong,

that black fur of night,

herald thereafter by a song...

Each night I write of him,

his ghostly beige eyes – they haunt my thoughts,

hiss – guide...

I took him to my deepest chamber,

wrapped him tight in mind and slowly healed his many wounds,

that were deeper than just skin and bone...

He raged in me,

filled me with black nights...

his claws slowly became mine,

I healed him but...

he healed me,

yet wounded me deep as deep,

Days turned to nights and black into light as slowly he regained his name,

Became not a beast of dust but a wiry strong thane,

Soon he could run and I ceased to try,

soon he could scream, my sound ceasing...

soon he could live,

while I could not.

He left, like a winters last day,

never-ending but gone just like that.

You couldn't see,

you couldn't think

I couldn't be.

Now he is forever and I am his past,

he can toss a stone for me and howl at night for the time I took my last breath.

 

 

 

Stillness

(Story of a wolf II)

 

I watched the fight from afar that night,

mist curling in my wake...

As I saw a beast as black as shadows,

curl and rip and shake...

He wore a hooded light and fought because he was forced...

Breath held fury,

 night held tears as those wolves,

they attacked him near death...

He bayed his call,

leapt like a deer,

swung back to hold his ground...

Only to be beset by teeth,

and calls for meat...

his very own breed his doom,

Fought and fought,

for hours they did until the streets were covered with murk...

A ghost-like yelp,

crimson fear and the fleeing paws of many a wolf...

Crept into silence,

and chill-cold night as he slowly lay silent...

forgetting his name...

After an hour or so,

once I was sure they had left I ran to the spot he had fell...

Looked upon he,

hurt not just in flesh,

and took him upon my soul...

I carried him,

and the night became still.

 

 

 

Him Or Me?

(Story of a wolf III)

 

Half his pain was his anger,

the way he'd scream and claw...

Ripping up the walls of his room,

tearing his own jaws...

It wasn't just hunger,

or the will to feel,

but a burning pain that screwed his heart...

kept it beating when he wanted death...

That wolfs' howl echoed,

each and every night...

Until it sunk,

impressed on my mind...

His eyes were the creators,

of his own demise...

His life the curse,

his body the chains...

His body hung limp,

not just from what they'd done...

It was because he let them.

His days had decided to resist,

though he begged them to stop...

He refused to eat,

to love, to live, even when I tried...

For him.

He gouged my heart,

after I had so willingly thrown...

He could not feel,

turned blind with hatred...

Each night I'd hear him screaming,

the dints in his walls the only clue,

The pulled out claws I was forced to ignore in the hope he would be cured...

I fought for reason, in a world where there was not,

Tried to love him, when my scars grew more than bones...

He was a beast, scalding to kill, not me, but himself...

I could only watch, as he drove himself from slumber, night after night, after night, after night...

Pacing a path in the floor,

I screamed at myself,

to let it go...

let him go,

keep me....

Yet he took what I had,

because I offered and gave,

My tracks matched his.

Who am I? Him or me?

 

There are wolves within my heart...

and how they howl.

xx



Confessions of a Spooked: Entry One of All Hallows Eve...

 

A knife flying through the darkness...

strikes a table,

strikes a wall...

you see its' silver light,

within your thoughts...

and in the night sweet,

about you...

for you do not wish to wake,

the stirrings...

that stalk you in your thoughts,

and desires...

and time and time again,

we stare into the mirror...

only now,

we have seen...

the true monster that lies there,

Monster, Monster, Monster...

Come out,

we don't sleep anymore you see...

and we like the pain,

of your claws...

so like comfort,

in their lack of love...

in their disinterest,

and the pale fingers...

that lead you nearer to death,

each hour and shaking minute...

and hypnotising you,

with his words...

that sound so welcome,

to ears that have despaired...

at the idea of life,

for so long...

For you see,

it is not Heaven we desire anymore...

for where is there night?

Or the beautiful elderness...

of the stars,

and the midnight walks...

and secret talks,

and no we shall no longer dream...

besides,

where is room...

for darkness and mystery,

within that light?

 

 

Though you once longed for it didn't you?

Your soul turned...

and now it is carved to pieces by the blade,

and turned to ash...

burning the skin from our fingers,

and the screaming darkness within...

See the marks chipped into our walls,

and the gashes you chose to ignore...

Go ahead dear,

smash the mirror apart...

a thousand times if you must,

but no...

no point,

anymore...

for the mirror is within your head,

and it reflects back to others...

themselves,

so you see...

how can you be anything,

but a reflection of those who see you...

they see nothing but themselves,

and so change...

and never see the labyrinth beneath,

though they try to alter...

though they try to possess,

for who does not love...

themselves?

 

 

 

You watch the walls...

until your eyes they bleed,

and ten hooded figures...

bring you a decree,

of silence...

within.

 

Come now,

why so afraid?

Not anymore you see...

we take the fear as a blanket,

so that we are not harmed...

when Daerk dwells within,

why not make friends with the horrors?

Then perhaps they'll humour...

instead of torment,

and in the end...

they whisper to us our escape,

our freedom...

take up the blade,

bury it deep within...

feel the darkness explode from beneath,

and set fire to the angels here...

for we are doomed,

and we are cursed...

we have cut away our smiles,

so that we may no longer be immersed...

by those,

those smile vampires...

who seek to devour,

and now....

to destroy the mirror,

free thyself from the prison...

that has formed about the fragments,

of your mind...

and we break,

and fury...

and static,

until all of it could tear apart...

smash fists,

destroy the dust that has settled...

from us for so long,

just release the leviathans...

for really how long can you endure,

holding them back...

as they hack and scream,

at your mind...

until you lock yourself away with insanity,

to endure...

so go now,

destroy the mirror within...

and perhaps we will find something other than Heaven,

a pale stretch of beach...

where a figure waits,

and nothing else matters...

and you forget the darkness,

and the stars dance through the blue night...

and moods of lanterns lit,

come now dear...

deceive yourself,

for yours is the depth of the ocean...

to be bound deeper,

beneath the crushing blankness...

of its' endlessness,

now see not the nails that scratch...

upon the windows at night,

perhaps you will be able to forget them...

if you turn the TV,

the radio up...

loud enough to not hear them.

 

Whoo-Whooo....

 

xx

 

 

 

 

 

A Brief Interlude...

 

 

Mr. White n S...

regrets to announce,

that Miss Scarlett has temporarily...

been indisposed,

and begun...

a temporary isolated vacation,

a trip through time...

A creature holds her there,

and until she returns...

the Sinister Meeting Room,

and other affiliated partners...

shall enter a,

rather temporary...

interlude.

 

Until then the spider webs...

shall spin.

 

Regards,

 

The Sinister Meeting Room

and

Mr. White n S.

 

 

 



The Face in the Darkness...

The night is old...

you feel the cobwebs of it.

You cannot sleep...

you leave your tangled sheets,

your half-formed thoughts and dreams...

and you walk through your decaying house,

through the decaying world...

and tumbling out into the night,

and the darkness...

and the endless wind,

you see the moon...

giant and pregnant and full,

and red...

red as blood.

 

You feel something like an embrace,
a whisper...
the press of fingers against your shoulder,
and you turn...

You see a street,
lonely and long and winding...
beside which trails a river,
the colour of the moon...
You begin to walk,
feeling as though secret wheels and gears...
move your feet,
and bones...
and heart forward,
and then you hear a word...
someone calling your name,
and you glimpse the smallest of figures...
only a child,
with trailing hair and wool...
turn her amber dark eyes briefly back to you,
a laugh as sharp as a knife...
and perhaps your name,
uttered from her lips...
and you know you must follow.

You will always follow her...

for you always choose her,
for she has always chosen you...
though it was not her choice at first.

Always her...

You begin to run...
as she dances into the embrace of the shadows,
and still you follow...

You pass suddenly by the river waters,
that murmur and shift...
and you glimpse something within,
moving...
churning,
seeing...
breathing.

The girl is suddenly beside you...
her head cocked as though listening,
she steps towards the water...
she points,
her skin shivering...
and her eyes endless,

'There was something done here...
a forbidden act,
and now the water is cursed...
now things move beneath,
and occasionally they reach out...
Do not touch it,
for it might take...
and take,
and take...
until there is nothing left in us,
but a crumbling universe...
that used to shine,
with a galaxy of memories...
yet now flickers,
with the shadows...
and Daerk,
that devour it.'

Then the girl is gone,
twisting away into mist...
and you chase,
you reach...
you try,
to keep hold of her...
yet she slips away,
and you begin to run again...
your heart fracturing,
and the tears silent...

For we no longer shed tears without,
but within.

As you move along the river,
you glimpse many curious things...
A face,
pale and adorned with Roses...
within the freezing water,
their face alien and beautiful...
with the embrace of death.

You see next a single mushroom...
golden and bent within,
shimmering in the blood moon...
and you pass it by.

A clock that winds backwards is next...
destroying each hour that passes it by,
with hacksaws and nails...
trying to forget,
that another second has left it...
for Time is Sorrow,
To know that everything you hold...
runs endlessly back and forth,
from the ground...
to death and life and between,
again and again...
and it never knows a face,
long enough...
to know love,
for it is Infinity...
and when Infinity is your breath,
there is no room for the heart...
or soul.

Or remembering.

The river runs long...
the river leads you on.

Next you walk pass two statues...
in a courtyard of white and shadow,
lost within the folds of Time...
Two dragons,
one reminiscent of Gold...
the other as Blue as the Ocean.
They are entwined...
and their love is visible,
undeniable...
complex,
beyond Hours...
and yet between them a sculpture of dark,
like a cloud...
or claws,
or mist...
slowly choking the life from them,
and tearing them apart...
separating what should,
have been.

You begin to sprint...
and you know then,
that you don't want this river anymore...
you don't want to know THIS,
you close your eyes and scream...
and then suddenly you stop,
for you cannot go on...
your limbs feel like iron,
your head as heavy as the Earth...
You fall to your knees...
and finally you open your eyes,
again...

At first there is nothing,
just a swirling fog...
 where the path and river had once been,
you stand and you shiver...
and then,
from within...
a figure steps,
turns...
and is suddenly beside you,
his pale fingers trapping you tight...
and his white eyes burning into you,
he is tall...
with pale hair,
and robes fashioned from the mist...
and he is everywhere,
and you cannot move...
or escape,
and you feel then...
his breath against your ears,
and his nails like claws in your skin....
as he whispers,
to you...

'Haven't you fled far enough?
Haven't you sorrowed enough?
I have seen you...
when you smash your fists to pieces,
 against walls...
when you long for the knife,
more than air...
when you stay awake,
always awake...
so that the demons cannot reach,
so that the darkness...
is a degree closer to light,
I see how you lock your windows...
and doors,
how you won't let them in...
yet we already are,
for you let us in centuries ago...
and now we are the comfort that you choose,
though long ago you did not think...
that what you feared,
would become so ingrained in your skin...
and now when you look in the mirrors,
it is the face...
screaming with laughter,
back at you.
One day you will stop fighting us...
one day you will allow the pretence,
of your own morality...
to slip into what you have always been,
a Monster...
Pure and Simple.'

You buckle,
you writhe...
you war against his grip,
though a part of you believes him...
desires more than life,
to accept this as you...
yet as despair binds you tight,
you feel a tug on your sleeve...
and a slow unravelling of the Darkness,
and you look down...

You see her then,
her eyes like Hazel firelight...
and her words soft,
spoken into the in-between...
corners of your mind.

'We may be monsters...'
she murmurs.
'Yet that does not make our soul...
you are Better,
than what you have become for them...
what you kill and maim and hate,
is a prism to lock you inside...
to determine that you are only suited,
to the coat of Darkness...
that you claim to adore.
Perhaps the light will be just as strong....
It is up to you child,
for if you do not see the prison for what it is....
soon you will love it,
and believe that it is your strength.
Take my hand please,
and I will show you something...
before the Night Dreams re-take you.'

As you stand there by the river...
one arm gripped by the claws,
of the demon you have taught yourself to love...
and the other pressed,
by something unknown...
something of Light.

Tonight you decide,
tonight you choose...
to turn to her instead of him,
to believe that maybe...
you are capable,
of Sunlight...
and Life,
instead of Death.

The girl smiles up at you...
and you take her hand,
as the pale demon screams for you...
and you realize that she has never really left you,
and that she will always choose you...
always.

Then it is fading...
it is all fading,
and once again you find yourself...
back in your bed,
and sleep quickly overtaking you...

xx

To Donna Rose...
Always.