We were searching, searching...
through the silence and guilt,
searching for a way to breathe outside of this ivory cage.
We were reaching, reaching...
for something that we had lost or forgotten,
reaching for our wings maybe -
so that if we decide to jump -
we could decide again to fly.
We scratch small paths through our bones...
so that we can feel as we deserve,
and make them shut up shut up shut up...
we never were loving or noble,
and sometimes we wished that the shadows would swallow us up...
and that no eyes could look our way again,
because my skin itches to be stared at...
and I want to snap and break off all these gently latched on strings,
strings that are tied to me...
no more,
We were searching, searching...
through the stilness and gnawing,
searching for a shade of darkness that is safer.
We stare at the darkness and small shadows of 3 am...
listening to the strange chattering,
and shifting blades and crawling things...
and we're still wide awake,
it's not that I'm afraid of this...
things are too ridiculous to be scared,
but the fear does exist...
it's just of something no one can see,
the terror of the emptiness opening around you like a thousand metre drop...
no it's not the silence that crawls,
it's the gnawing that screeches louder with the silence...
gnawing through deep globes and fortresses,
moths crawling through my veins...
we scream with silence.
Float away with the tides and eddies and streams,
wish for better things...
dreams we weave,
until we are remade and somewhere else.
My mind is drifti...nnng lately,
Much Love,
Miss CLScarlett xx
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