My time I measure through the clinking of bottles...
and the shadows that curl in the corners,
marking out each hour and second...
inside my head,
I sat in the darkness of a shadow the other night...
and I tipped fluorescent green down my throat,
I felt it buzz my heart into flame...
and I pressed my ear-wings against the cement wall,
I saw the stars move...
and heard the city unwind its' secrets for me,
a sea of treetops and neon signs...
and just me,
you feel no hand grasping your wrist...
and nothing changing you,
or adapting you...
it is merely a silence and a doorway opening,
to someplace...
Other.
We are netted up by the darkest of strings...
and we feel anew the weight of our wingsourwingsourwings,
and so we dance until our feet bleed and break...
we speak nonsense to disguise the truth,
and we stare at the monsters through the corridors...
There is a place,
broken and shattered...
where red lies in tatters amongst shards of glass,
cracked shell lights...
You can know a story for so long,
that eventually it is more real than breath...
You search for answers amongst the dust,
and the half-fragments of memory...
have you ever realized that there aren't enough memories?
Not for what we need...
not for us.
You search deep into your mind...
and maybe the seeking churns up something,
maybe something sees the wound and strikes a bargain...
with you,
or not...
and then it binds and swarms and catapults,
like a creature of myth from under your bed...
and suddenly you are bound in it,
running through the hallways it has made...
and hiding beneath blankets it has knit,
sometimes...
you can't get back out,
sometimes...
you are only running in place,
and sometimes...
you forget that you are already dead.
We tick slowly byyyy...
Stop.
Imagine instead that your feet are standing in the softest sand imaginable.
No wait...
Close your eyes.
Feel something soft beneath your feet...
and the pounding of warm waves in the distance,
a gentle breeze on your neck...
blowing away the darkness and cold inside of you,
you open your eyes...
see a deep sky of blue as far as your sight can reach,
you taste the salt in the air...
and smell something like caramel on the wind,
you walk forward...
up a gentle ridge in the pale sand.
You cross the rise and stop...
a clear ocean lays swaying before you,
a couple of breaks rock to your far right...
while a row of colourful long boards stand waiting,
to your far left...
way down the end of the beach,
a hut built of old timber, straw and mud sits against the cliff...
straight ahead of you,
is a great wooden jetty...
it creaks its' way out into the ocean.
Fastened to the very end of the jetty...
is a small yacht,
and beside the yacht stands a figure...
almost impossible to make out,
yet strangely familiar...
What would you do eh?
Maybe you would ride the breaks until dawn the next week...
maybe you would stop by the hut,
see why it smells so much like warmth and caramel...
Maybe you would live there awhile.
Each day you would see the figure waiting...
and each day you would wonder,
and then maybe one day...
you turn from your fears and what you've known,
and you walk down to the end of that jetty...
you find that the figure is someone that you know,
and have been waiting for in some remote part of your being...
you step onto the boat with them and slowly sail away,
to someplace...
Other.
That boat will always wait for you...
you are never too late.
The smallest of sounds...
curling in the darkness,
the most tiny of wrens...
battering itself against its reflection,
and the most skeletal of seahorses...
whispering through my dreams.
Thank-you for your Admittance...
the Theatre is now currently,
Closed.
Hey there...
Long time...no speak.
My life has gone flat-out insane lately...it's almost my 22nd year on Earth and I'm preparing to send my book off to proofreading, then to the publishers. I have only hope...because I know it can happen.
Don't give up your dreams or accept a life that they design for you.
Miss CLScarlett xx
